3 Keys to building healthy, effective communication with your aging loved one on tough topics. - Part 3

The third important factor that contributes to an effective communication style between you and your aging loved one is Reframe. The dictionary defines the word Reframe as “to change the way something is expressed or considered”. There are a few different ways that you can use the technique of reframing when communicating with your aging loved one. One way is to remember that the words you use matter. Rather than a direct statement, you can lean on another person's story. For example, if your best friend or neighbor shared with you how their aging parent is receiving support you can casually mentioned to your aging loved one their story without a direct inclination that they do the same. It's just planting seeds, food for thought. Approaching a topic casually and from a wider view not specifically directed towards your aging loved one. This is a gentler way to see how well received it will be. 
One other consideration is to think back when you were younger. Consider the language that your parent used on a regular basis with you. How effective was their communication when they were giving advice or making suggestions to you? Were they short and direct? Did they rely on stories to paint a picture to help you come to your own conclusions? And how was it received by you? Were you open to make a change, or did you close down and dismiss their ideas? There may be clues for you today to consider when choosing the words and the approach that ultimately means a change for them in the future. 
Reframing can also be a reminder for you that not all communication has to be centred on concerns and deep topics. It means that when any human being, including your aging loved one has a slip up (and is not safety related), it doesn't need to be in the spotlight each and every time. That would be unwanted and not helpful. Reframing could simply mean your aging loved one is having a bad day, a bad moment or simply just part of the “in between” time while things are being worked out. Give them and yourself some grace. 
 
Throughout life as a family caregiver to an aging loved one ultimately you will have to have tough conversations. Using these three important factors that contributes to effective communication style of Timing, Fact vs. Fears, and Reframe means that you are creating and will be preserving your positive relationships and putting your aging loved ones needs at the forefront. One thing that you can rely on is that you will get feedback from your aging loved one and that will help you know how effective your approach is or if you need to make some changes along the way. Give them and yourself some grace. 

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