Entering the Sandwich Generation

Caring for your Parents and your Children

You wake up to another day much like the one before, thinking about your career or business and what is going on in your children’s schedule that week. Today is different though, you received a call from your dad and you learned that your mom had a stroke and is now needing some additional support.

Not only is this scary for you, after all it is hard to face your own parents’ mortality, but how will this all come together in an already busy life? Deep breathe, and take the next step.

Learn as much as you can about the situation at hand. What is needed and why. Just gather the details that are available at this time. Have a conversation with your siblings if you have them. Give everyone an opportunity to talk and be heard. You may find that one person is having a harder time with the news than another. That is ok and gives you better insight to their contribution and/ or how they may deal with future information. Allow some space for that to sink in and for ideas and suggestions to come forward, being sure to include the obvious choice- which is to let your parents step in and decide for themselves what they need and want.
 
Share the details with your own family, making sure they are able to understand what is going on. Let them know that their grandparents will be needing some extra time and care from the family. Allow some space for that to sink in and for ideas and suggestions to come forward.

Everyone’s role and responsibilities will shift and change to help one another out. At times it will be unclear as to what is needed or the share of the work is not balanced or you will be just too tired. It is helpful to be quick to express your appreciation and offer words of kindness while you are working things out. Kids can learn and develop new skills that help the whole household, parents can learn to trust a little more in their kids’ abilities and everyone can learn to rely a little more on each other. Deep breathe and take the next step together.