Things Not Said On Social Media

There is a social media group called Dementia Daughters Canada. I’ve been a member for quite some time. People post their questions, concerns and celebrations all relating to being a caregiver for a loved one living with dementia. If I do say so myself, it is a really nice community with a safe space to put things out there and ask for a listening ear or for other caregivers’ experience-based advice.
The posts and the responses are made from real people who all want the same thing, to do the best they can for their aging loved one and not lose themselves entirely in the process.
Having been in service for many families over the past 14 years and having been a caregiver to my own mom, any contribution I add to a post is made strictly from a place of giving and not trying to take center stage. And so, it often means that only a portion of what I want to pass along is posted with so much more [I feel] left unsaid.
For anyone who is interested and who may feel it would be helpful for their situation, I will remove the name of the person who posted and share what I wanted to say.
The post (name removed for privacy):
“It takes a strong person to deal with a loved one with dementia. I don’t know if I’m that strong.”
Dear caregiver, I’d like to acknowledge the strength it took for you to write those words and put yourself out there for others in the group to find and give thought to. Your words immediate cause every reader to self-reflect –not only the current struggles they find themselves facing but (hopefully) also seeing that grander picture of the moments that are a little lighter, a little sweeter even though so different from life before.
It does take a strong person, AND it means that one person can’t do it all –all the time. Whether physically, emotionally or mentally, we all need a circle of support around us. It is being brave, and you’ve showed yourself to be, by reaching out even if you are unclear exactly what you need to do next. Being open is the way.
I learned a great lesson years ago from my husband who was a cyclist. He said when things get tough and you aren’t sure if you can make the whole ride, just look at the next 10 feet (and the next 10 feet), and so on.
You will get there, and you don’t need to worry about the whole ride. Just focus on the next 10 feet. Give yourself the grace you need and deserve. You are doing and will do well.