When a loved one is depressed and sees everything as negative

If a dark cloud comes.

Dark clouds. We see them almost any time of the year. They usually signify a change coming. Wet weather, perhaps cold, causing us to seek shelter, hunker down and keep close everything we feel we need to keep ourselves comfortable until they pass. Figuratively, when a dark cloud comes, it means that a heavy feeling is upon us. This makes us tired, perhaps sad and can cause the same sensations mentioned above that move us to seek comfort and protect ourselves from them. They can really grab hold and if they do, it feels like the dark cloud might stay forever. Until we realize, we remember that dark clouds have come before. We remember the work we have done and the tools we have to help ourselves move the clouds on. Thank goodness for that.

What if you see the dark cloud over your loved one? Meaning- what if your loved one has developed a bleak outlook on life. Perhaps she is processing a big change. A change in location, the passing of a spouse, or a health concern is troubling her. You do as you always have, you honor how she feels, talk with her and you do your best to support her. Sometimes you find yourself running low on energy. You may ask yourself “do I keep trying?”.

The answer is yes.

First, recoup your energy and take care of YOU, so you can put your detective hat back on and investigate a little more into the circumstances of the situation and your loved one. Take note of any changes you see- behavior, outlook and overall ability to take care of herself or make decisions are a few places to start. If you haven’t already, make an appointment to see her doctor. Update and share if there have been any major changes in her life and share your concerns. Have the doctor review the list of medications to be sure there aren’t any working against one another. Talk about loneliness --is it a factor? Grief? How is her diet? Once you start investigating, the clues will direct you to next steps. Find out what community resources are available. Remember to reach out to your Circle of Support for ideas and references. Remember the tools you use to help yourself and see if your loved one is open to them.

Above all, keep yourself well as you go through this process of discovery. By doing so, your loved one has the best chances of moving those dark clouds away!