Senior Living, Assistance, Support, and Activities | Get a Friend Indeed
  • Home
  • Musings & Memoirs
    • Ultimate Gift
    • Pricing & Packages
  • Companion Care
    • Why A Friend Indeed?
    • What We Do
    • The Cost of Change
    • Resources
  • Who We Are
    • Our Values
    • Meet Our Team
    • Employment
    • Community
    • Blog
  • Contact Us

A BLOG INDEED

Uncovering the Root of a Need

4/7/2018

Comments

 
Needs.

We all have needs. They may change at different times of our life given circumstances, but there always seems to be a few core ones that never go away or lessen in our lifetime. If we pay attention to them and speak up and they are met (either by others or ourselves), then we tend to feel good, safe, secure or content. If our needs are not met, if we aren’t aware it is a need, if we are too shy to speak up- then we don’t feel good. We may look outward and blame, get angry or sad. We may look inward and think we are not worthy. When needs are not met, I am sure you would agree- that we feel bad.

What if you could no longer effectively communicate what your needs are? If you spoke and others who could help you, didn’t understand and so they didn’t/ couldn’t help? What if they did understand but didn’t know how to meet what you were needing? It would be like asking someone to scratch an itch on your back and they don’t get that spot even with your directions. It would be frustrating and most likely would cause upset. IE: Out of frustration you might think: Why can’t you understand? Are you stupid? Or outbursts IE: slapping a person’s hand away, leaving upset, yelling or sour looks. It would be agonizing and exhausting for both the person with the unmet need and the person trying to help.

Speaking up is only one part of the story when communicating needs. A person with dementia may not be able to communicate their needs verbally and so we need to look at the larger picture. Put your detective hat on and investigate the clues. In addition to what the person is saying, what is this person feeling? How is this person behaving? What do I know about this person’s life story? Consider too what was going on just prior to the upset. Perhaps there are additional clues and insights there.

Visiting another lady in a care facility, I was wheeling her through the empty dining room- we were just touring around to see what we could find. She started to become agitated and said “I can’t do it! I can’t do it!” She was really stressed. When we passed through to a quiet area, I turned to face her. I knelt down and took her hands in mine looked her in the eye and with a smile said “There is nothing to do. We got it all done and thank you so much for your help!” I didn’t know for sure what caused her upset, but I had a hunch. Going through the dining room with all the tables nicely set with tablecloths, place settings and such may have triggered a memory or past feeling of preparing for a social gathering- I knew that was a big part of her life. Feeling like it was too overwhelming a task to do now, she expressed anxiety and upset. She needed reassurance, that all was taken care of and even acknowledgement of her contribution for a job well done. Her smile and softened shoulders confirmed my hunch was right and we both carried on.


Comments

    Author

    Robyn Pearson
    Founder of A Friend Indeed

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    May 2015
    April 2015

Senior Living, Assistance, Support and Activities. A Friend Indeed serving Calagary, Airdrie and Didsbury
Senior Living, Assistance, Support and Activities. A Friend Indeed serving Calgary, Airdrie, Cochrane and Didsbury
​Serving Locations
​
Airdrie
Calgary
Didsbury
Cochrane

Office
Airdrie, AB
(403) 980-0199


Call Now
Company
​
About Us
Companion Care
Musings & Memoirs
Blog
Employment
Media​

Privacy Policy
Follow
  • Home
  • Musings & Memoirs
    • Ultimate Gift
    • Pricing & Packages
  • Companion Care
    • Why A Friend Indeed?
    • What We Do
    • The Cost of Change
    • Resources
  • Who We Are
    • Our Values
    • Meet Our Team
    • Employment
    • Community
    • Blog
  • Contact Us