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The 8 Areas of Life – Engagement is the 5th Area
- Robyn Pearson
- 2 hours ago
- 7 min read
Intro:
We are moving forward on our journey covering the 8 Areas of Life, with the next area we're exploring being the 5th area - Engagement! When they are considered and working well, then everything seems to flow along better for your aging loved one and for you! To review, we’ve covered the first 4 areas; Health, Comfort, Safety, and Activities. Now we’ll move on to the 5th Area of Life – Engagement.
By the way, if you want to revisit the Main Blog that introduces all 8 Areas of Life When Caregiving for Your Aging Loved One -Taking A Closer Look
This 5th area of life is Engagement.
What a wide concept Engagement is when it comes to an aging loved one! It can cover so much. So, for the purpose of education and inspiration for you –the family caregiver, we will narrow the topic. Engagement meaning –the effectiveness of gaining attention and joy in whatever your aging loved one does.
Think of what engages you the most –a good book, a project, good conversation about something near and dear to your heart perhaps. When you are engaged in something, time goes so fast. It’s like a great temporary distraction from the world around you. It may come in short bursts or longer stretches. Either way, it feels good while you are in it and satisfying when it is over.
Your aging loved one, whether they live at home or in care, also benefits greatly from engagement! The best sources of engagement come from well thought out options that are tailored to who they are and how they perceive themselves.
One size does not fit all! AND there can be fun in the exploration of it all!
We will give you some ideas, tips, stories and suggestions so your aging loved one and you can experience more satisfying Engagement to further meet the needs of this 5th Area of Life.
If you haven’t already read them, here are all our past blog posts:
Statistics Worth Knowing
Disengagement significantly worsens health and shortens life
Social isolation and loneliness in older adults are associated with higher risks of depression and anxiety, cognitive impairment, heart disease and high blood pressure, and even Premature death
The mortality risk of isolation is comparable to smoking ~15 cigarettes per day
Source: Canadian Coalition for Seniors’ Mental Health (CCSMH) & NICE Canada summary
Tips To Help You
How to you know if your aging loved one is not as engaged in their life as they could be? There are a few indicators that can tell you more.
1) How much time do they spend sitting. You’ve probably heard that “sitting is the new smoking”
2) Communication has decreased. They aren’t contributing to the conversation as they normally do. Their responses are mostly just going along with what is or with what others say.
3) Their level of “Can’t be bothered” [or some other excuse] is at an all-time high. Whether it is backed by lack of motivation or a low-lying fear or anxiety.
If you see these or other indicators in your aging loved one, now is the time to act. The term “use it or lose it” is very real.
Whether it is a little support or encouragement to get them interested, or to help them get going, or having someone come in to be a “positive enabler”, it means more opportunities to be engaged in their day. To use their body and mind and contributing to something meaningful and purposeful to them will make all the difference!
Imagine how that could be!
If you would like to chat about how your aging loved one’s situation and what you want for them, please learn more at www.getafriendindeed.com
Tips You Can Act On
How to find out if your aging loved one is engaged in the day.
If your dad (or mom) is living in care, you can ask questions to the care manager, the nurse’s station or the recreation leader to learn what activities he is attending, if he is participating, and what his overall expression of interest is for it. That is a helpful start.
Additionally, you can attend the activity and observe yourself. You know him best. Is he really engaged or just showing up?
Consider how the rest of a day is for him (overall). How does he spend his time? And is it engaging for him?
Another strategy to help recognize if he is engaged during his day, you can look to his behavior for clues.
Is he sleeping more?
Does he seem generally “checked out” and disinterested on the regular?
Or, have his emotions escalated –feeling more anxious or upset easily?
Does it seem like he has pent up energy that needs to go somewhere?
These are tell-tale signs that he could benefit from more engagement in his day.
Think about this for a minute and compare it to your own life. When you wake up in the morning and you are looking forward to something different or something extra special happening later in the day? You know, it is the anticipation that fuels engagement and excitement. It is like the activity itself is only part of it. There is the “looking forward to it”, the “actually doing it”, and then the “winding down from it”, and even the “reminiscing of it” afterwards.
All of these experiences contribute to the whole experience. It holds true for your aging loved one too!
Activities in care facilities are a start, but having opportunities tailored for one-on-one engagement is something else altogether.
Keeping your aging loved one active and engaged in his day and in his life awakens him in so many ways! How cool is that?!
A Resource For You
We have been talking about ADDING MORE ENGAGEMENT to your aging loved one’s life. Engagement and having fun are great companions!
Here is a video that illustrates an example of injecting some fun (and engagement!) in what could be a mundane activity. Enjoy!
A Story Worth Telling
Engagement is that special sauce that makes all the difference between the doing of an activity and the having fun while doing it!
I recall a visit I had with a lovely lady living in a care facility when I first started A Friend Indeed. She was in a wheelchair and had some speech challenges due to several mini strokes from the past. With a bit of time and getting to know one another, the effectiveness of our communication was no longer a challenge. She had a great sense of humor, and we enjoyed our time together.
I came prepared one day with the idea of presenting the game of balloon volleyball to her. On the surface, this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary as it was an activity many residents play in care facilities. BUT, because we had established a good relationship and I had a good sense of her humor, we took it to a new level of creativity!
First of all, we just had to draw a face on the balloon, then of course he had to have a name! We laughed and giggled all the while of hitting “Robert” back and forth!
While we were playing, I noticed another resident down the hall who was watching us and laughing at our silliness. I called out to her “Would you like to join us? We could use a third!”. This lady made her way over to the chair I brought out and we all continued to play. A couple more residents joined in –all of us laughing and joking around at the balloon named Robert.
We were playing in a common area and on occasion we would have to stop to let a passerby through. It made me think of younger days yelling “CAR!” and having to move aside as kids.
Up ahead, the cleaning lady was coming towards us with her cart. This lady was known to be a little on the grumpy side on the best of days. Seeming to always have a little grey cloud above her. In good fun, I gave into spontaneity and said to the group “Ten points to the person who hits her with the balloon!” Everyone laughed as she came by. Only one person had nerve to hit the balloon towards her. It was a little mischievous, but coming from a sense of play, it was a really great experience for the folks! They were all engaged for a good stretch of time, in an evolving activity that is good for the body and the mind.
Everyone was creating their experience under the umbrella of having fun! Everyone building on each other’s contribution, instead of just following instruction. That is the special sauce which makes all the difference between the doing of an activity and the having fun through being engaged while doing it!
Quotes Worth Sharing
“Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order.”
— John Adams
“Healthy ageing is about creating the environments and opportunities that enable people to be and do what they value throughout their lives.”
— World Health Organization
“Iron rusts from disuse; water loses its purity from stagnation… even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.”
— Leonardo da Vinci
A Testimonial
We have hired, A Friend Indeed for our elderly mother who suffers from dementia. She is in a nursing home and at the beginning she was lost, lonely and very depressed. Once we found this excellent organization who matches a Friend for my mom, she was so much happier.
My mom had more enthusiasm in her hobbies and shared this with her Friend on every visit. Mom couldn’t wait until her Friend’s next visit. They would chat about families. The Friend made sure mom walked and went outside for fresh air. Mom’s Friend always made sure she was feeling okay and if mom’s Friend had any concerns she would seek staff for questions. Also, A Friend Indeed provides reports of each visit which is so beneficial for the family to know. They also provide assistance if mom needs to go to an appointment when family isn’t available.
I have nothing but praise for A Friend Indeed, they have helped our family in more ways than we expected and mom is happy which is very important to us.
Thank you A Friend Indeed for your compassionate and very caring services
-- Desiree, daughter
A Compliment To The Care Giver
Shout out to the families of aging loved ones. Take a moment to consider all the little (and big!) things you do!
If you haven’t heard it lately, I want to say LOUDLY AND CLEARLY:
“You are doing a GREAT job!”
“You are SO appreciated!”
“Thank you for ALL the ways you show up for your aging loved one!”
What Would It Be?
If you had a Magic Wand?
And had ONE WISH that would cause your aging loved one to be MORE ENGAGED in their day currently, something SUPER GREAT that would light them up…
What would you wish for?
Write it in the comments and see how many other families say the same thing or something different.
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