Guest Post: The Actual Feeling of Safety

Carrie
Apr 4
2 min read

There is another often-unnoticed layer of safety outside of physical safety that gets forgotten.

Guest article written by Carrie from Dementia Darling,

www.dementiadarling.com

Follow Carrie on social media @dementiadarling

As a family caregiver educator, I spend quite a lot of time discussing safety. Most of the time, we mean physical safety—preventing falls, managing wandering, and reducing accidents. That work is essential.

But there is another often unnoticed layer of safety: the actual feeling of safety.

Our emotional safety is vital throughout the entire lifespan.

For an aging adult living with cognitive changes, fear and anxiety don’t always stem from something we can point to. There may be no physical threat nearby, no obvious cause for distress. But the feeling is real. A moment of immense confusion, an unfamiliar and unfriendly face, or a shift in routine—these moments trigger the same response as danger.

As family caregivers, it’s easy to look at these situations and think, “Why are they so upset? Nothing is happening.” However, when we only look for issues we can witness and "prove," we risk missing the bigger picture. When we focus only on what we see and not the "why" behind these expressions, we risk invalidating and discouraging future discussions with our loved ones. Their fear is genuine. Their emotional, physical, and mental safety is important.

I believe one of the most compassionate things we can do is learn to be curious about our person and let them lead. When we focus on the person and their feelings, we can start putting the pieces together. As with anything in dementia care, there are rarely clear answers, but we have to try to listen. Not to argue it away, but to respond to the feeling underneath. When we validate that emotional experience instead of redirecting it, we help restore a sense of safety—not just physically, but in the deeper way that matters most.

That’s the kind of safety I hope we can all keep talking about.